Police are human beings and have feelings just like everyone else. It was never embedded into my mind that The Bill of Rights and our Constitution were created to protect the innocent, as well as the guilty.

It’s very important to ASSERT YOUR RIGHTS.

Growing up “Brady Bunch” style, where everything that I observed was lawful and appeared to be just, fair, right, without corruption, I was mistakenly left with the impression that it was true for everyone. I don’t believe I was sheltered, but I didn’t understand that there were people from different ethnic and/or economic background were treated in a manner different from me. I was simply naive.

I’ll be 50 years old in July, and I’m just now, the past couple of years realizing how important it is to assert my rights regardless of innocence.

I believe that when we sit back and watch someone bully another person, we’re just as guilty as the bully. Watching, because becoming involved is uncomfortable; ignoring a wrong, because it’s easier than helping, are unjustifiable excuses. However, if someone with you is dependent on your presence, definitely give consideration to that fact.

Sometimes bad things happen in the process of something good being done for someone else, you have no way of knowing the outcome. Coulda, shoulda, woulda – you do what you gotta do, and if you did your best, and others are in judgment of you, that’s their problem, don’t make it yours.

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Having not seen the movie, I have the gist of what it’s about and the characters.  I know there’s the light saber.  Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father and there’s that princess with the awful hair.  I don’t brush mine, and it’s a mess, I think I’m just anti hair that clings to the head like a painted wig with yarn balls attached.

So now that it’s been a few decades since “Star Wars” made it’s debut, I must say that I’m really surprised that Robert has taken such a keen interest in things that are “Star Wars”.

I know that he hasn’t seen the movie, and I’m pretty sure that he wouldn’t even enjoy it.  However, Nintendo’s Wii has broadened his movie knowledge with games such as Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones.

Wii’s Lego Batman is the one that he speaks of the most, plays the most and keeps his attention the longest; however, he does keep an open mind and will break the monotony of Lego Batman to switch it up with Indiana Jones Lego Wii game or Star Wars Lego game.

So for Halloween this past year, he decided to be Darth Vader.

I have received numerous explanations from him as to the cast of characters who surround Darth Vader and the dark side, as well as who the Command Star Fleet folks are…wait a minute, I’m thinking of “Star Trek”, now.

Speaking of “Star Trek”, I haven’t heard that there’s a popular Wii game for “Star Trek”.  Someone want to tell me what’s up about that?  I mean, c’mon, what could be more fun that Captain James T. Kirk fighting off furry little trebles everywhere.  Or Spock fighting off Klingons with his mind.

Great, now I’ve just given away an idea for a game.  So I best claim it right here and now.  If a game comes out resembling any of the information that I just mentioned (if it’s not currently6 on the market of course), then I get dibs on royalties.  I’ll take a 1% commission, I’m easy!

I have a new computer and I can’t find the photo file with Robert and his Darth Vader costume.  Uufda, what’s up with that?  I guess I’ll have to do that tomorrow…nope, still can’t find the pictures…I’m sure that I’ll run across them soon enough and will be able to post them.

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As life would have it, it cost too much, and the bat cave had to stay on the toy department’s shelf.  It never made it to the cash register and the van and to your room as you were so intent on having happen.

And then it was December.  December, the month when gifts rain down on you and come at you from all directions.  Which can be a good thing and it has it’s disadvantages too.  There’s not a whole lotta of other holidays throughout the year that require gifts to be given.  But, here it is March, and still your dresser and closet are full of toys and presents that you haven’t had a chance to play with.

December had arrived, and Chanaka had passed, and then your birthday passed and there was one last chance.  Maybe Santa Claus would come through for you.  You knew what you really wanted to see under the tree, but everything was all wrapped up, but there was one box that looked like it might be about the size of what you were waiting for.  Dare you open it.  What if it wasn’t the bat cave, then what?

So you had the box setting in front of you and you began to unwrap it.

Santa delivered!!!

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There were times that Robert went as Batman.  Complete with bat wings.

We were able to imagine ourselves capturing villains, like Poison Ivy, Riddler, Joker, and Catwoman after being called to duty by Commissioner Gordon via the bat signal.

We’d go under the jungle gym, which was the bat cave and take the batcopter, batmobile, batboat to wherever the bad guys were hanging out.

We used the many items in our utility belts to get the job done.

Remember Robert, the boy who came to the park in a cape?  What was his name, Mike/Michael?  And I think his mom’s name was Jessica.  Maybe we’ll see them there again some day.

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Robert’s Network is this kids media future, and Kindergarten Media is the future of everything.

Robert M. Smith is a 5-year-old pre-kindergartner who is responsible for the name of the site and most of its direction.

Throughout this site you will see images, thoughts and ideas, as well as photos of he and his family.

Nana (Robert’s grandmother) is the sponsor and provides many of the articles which are submitted to the site, as well as setting up programming, as per Robert’s request.

While the site is indulgent to the sponsor’s grandson, it may not be appropriate for everyone, but it is open to all to inspire ideas and see where some of the energy comes from and where it goes.

Robert’s interest are Karate, School, Tap Dance, Drawing, Wii, and just about anything that dad likes.

Robert’s inspiration for this site have been I-Carley, Sponge Bob and Batman, with special thanks to the Cartoon Network, which was monumental in providing Robert with educating Robert about network programming and advertising.

On behalf of future network executive, Robert M. Smith, thank you for your continuous support.

Submissions, Comments and Suggestions are all encouraged.

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Robert in his Karate Kick Butt Gear!

Happy New Year 2010. Rob stayed up with his Mom and Dad and rang in the new year.

I’ll have to ask what was going on with his dad peeking around from behind the Christmas tree. Though I thought it was pretty cute.

Meantime, across the country in Bellingham, Washington – Nana lost track of time and didn’t realize that the new year had been rung in until I sent a skype message to someone and saw that the date had changed.

Belated Happy New Year everyone!

Robert asked me to make him a web site like I-Carly – so, here it is.  I can’t get over how interested he is in the internet.  At 5 years old, he’s into having a kids media website and wants to get involved in television production.

Of course, at this time he thinks that will be his hobby while when he grows up he plans to be a karate instructor and tap dancer.  I don’t know, maybe he will be, but I think that he may turn his hobby internet media hobby into a career and put the karate and tap dance on his list of passionate past times.

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Rabbit where’d you put the keys girl
And the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much
Thinks he knows so much
Rabbit where’d you put the keys girl

Alrighty, I really like Tori Amos, and THIS happens to be my favorite song, but what’s up with these lyrics? I suppose it’s some sort of reference to Alice In Wonderland, but really?

So, I guess I’ll have to do some research to find out what Tori was thinking when she wrote this song.

I became a Tori Amos fan in the early 90s. I don’t know how I came across her, but I remember waiting for her next album to come out.

Really funny thing was that I was a Trent Reznor fan and I had put them together in my head because at the time they were my #1 male & female sounds – I loved Pretty Hate Machine! And then the two of them go and get the Sharon Tate House to record in.

I got a kick out of going to one of the studios that they recorded in (not the Tate house) when someone I knew was making a CD (I liked Tori & Trent better though).

I have the song on my playlist and I haven’t been following Tori like I used to, but she’s still someone that I really like to listen to.

If you haven’t heard the song Cornflake Girl, you really need to take a listen, after you take a look at the lyrics. Get back to me with your opinion & comment!

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One of my favorite things to do when I visit Long Island, NY – a pedicure!!! Best prices around. And who in their right mind wouldn’t love to have a nice foot massage.

So I arrived late January into New York and one of my first visits was to Maxi Nails. With the new baby, the pedicures dropped on my priority list. So now, on my way home here’s my footsies. My feet need attention. I’m going to have to get these little piggies off to the spa!

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A closet full of brand new baby clothes, and nothing to wear. All of Julia’s dressy dresses were for 6 months +; however, Erica found a cute little dress, which was still too big, but it worked.

The gray and pink in the dress, she almost matched her daddy and his suit. But pink isn’t dad’s color, some men are scared of the color.

Julia, hardly a month old, was in awe of the lighting and, as I would’ve guessed, the blasting of the music which filled the air.

She always seemed to be comfortable curled up in her Boppy on the kitchen table, where I had my laptop and speakers set up. We’d listen to:

Billy Joel, Johnny Cash, Marilyn Manson, Lenka, Collective Soul, Lit, Black Eyed Peas, Weird Al Yankovich, Incubus, Eminem, Sarah McLaughlin, Alicia Keys

Oh, here’s one of my playlists that we enjoyed.

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Fortunately, Erica’s friend, Andreia invited Erica and family to her wedding this past Saturday. I say fortunately, because I was able to enjoy lots of fresh photos in a special venue.

Robert’s father likes to have his son dressed smartly with a collar and a button down cotton shirt (which dad will iron), so seeing Robert in a suit with gel in his hair, isn’t unusual. But what a pleasure it is to see him dolled up dancing with the bride’s daughter of the same age, dressed in her white gown, just like a miniature bride.

Krystal and Robert were on the dance floor the entire night providing adult guests with another couple to watch. I’d love to be able to get my hands on a video of Krystal and Robert, though you can almost feel the beat of the music from images of the little princess.

It’s easy to see that the bride and her daughter made the fairy tale date even brighter with their charm and charisma. Oh, and of course there was the groom and the couples bouncing baby boy.

Erica raved about the evening and how much fun it was to share in the joy of the day.

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My dream home.

So, I’ve been thinkin’, for the past several months, what is my dream home. My dream home, is a place where I can have my loved ones close to me.

Now, I need to have a dream house in which to entertain my dream home.

Right now I live in a 5 bedroom house, and the set up is comfortable for me, in that I see people when I want to see them and if I don’t want to deal with the rest of the people in the house – I can hold up in my room with no problem.

I decided that I’d like to have a lodge with a view of the Sound, Bellingham, and Mt. Baker. And I want my lodge to be made of straw bales. I have to be off the grid and with my own electricity and a well of my own.

I would like to have 4 suites each with 3 bedrooms and a living area with a kitchenette. Perhaps 2+ studio-like apartments. Attached to a common area which houses a commercial kitchen, dining area so that we can have great shared meals. A gym that will accommodate everyone’s needs.

A play center, for both the children and adults. An indoor playground, video game area. Maybe I even want a little theater.

An atrium with lush greenery and flowers to enjoy no matter what the weather is outside.

A state of the arts greenhouse, from which we’ll all enjoy fresh herbs, vegetables, and fruit year-round.

I want a fabulous outdoor garden to enjoy the spring and summer months.

I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t all have to be in Whatcom County, or even in Washington State, but it’s got to be self sufficient.

I just got off the phone with a friend who suggested one of the islands and just coming to the mainland once month or so via ferry. I like that idea too. We’ll go visit him next weekend and check out his neck of the woods on the coast.

Just like the Alaskan move sounds like an adventure I’d enjoy. Have money will go away and live.

While I dream of distant places like Thailand, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico which are a bit more tropical…I’d have to have more money in my pocket to assure a safe haven for the company that I keep. Just in case I’d have to pay off government officials or something…

I think Birch Bay might even have a couple of spots that I’d be interested in, preferably something on the bluff.

Worst case scenario, I’ll just buy everyone virtual goggles and we’ll plug something in and virtually bask in the sun, sans sunscreen; hell, let’s go sky diving while we’re at it, no parachute needed.

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While I was in New York with my beautiful new granddaughter, my wonderful grandson, my lovely daughter and her fabulous husband, I enjoyed waiting on them, cleaning for them and whatever I could do to help. Truly, I was filled with joy.

Giving my son-in-law a break when he came home from work, so he could spend it with his children (which is a priority to him) without the responsibility of having to make dinner, or do laundry, or do something around the house; bringing Erica a glass of ice water with lemon, and keeping her floors free of debris as she recuperated from her c-section; talking to Robert and giving him his nana attention…it genuinely made me feel vibrant.

To be able to care for them out of love and not obligation, to be appreciated for doing what they usually do, it was a gift to me, as well as to them. I worked hard, and loved it.

When arrived back to my own home, knowing it wouldn’t be perfect, but expecting that, grandpa Dave would have vacuumed and he had told me that he was busy cleaning, so I was happy to know that he had taken some pleasure in welcoming me back home by doing something that he was aware would allow me to relax.

BUT the floor was full of dog fur and bird seed. The blankets on the bed were full of fur. The desk was cluttered and hadn’t been dusted since I last did it almost 2 months before. A thick film of dust on the tv screen and on everything everywhere. The porcelain toilet coated with crud that it would carve like scrimshaw…

My feeling was deep disappointment and resentment. I had left New York with tears in everyones eyes, as I walked into the airport, only to arrive to the open arms of a dump. Where there was no one who cared that my reaction to clutter and chaos has ALWAYS been rage or despair.

Instead of turning off the light and accepting that in 10 years, he hasn’t taken joy in doing anything that takes him out of his comfort zone, at any cost, I made disappointment clear in the form of anger and frustration. I allowed myself to be overwhelmed and reacted by taking out the vacuum, only to see that it was overfilled with fur.

When Dave told me that proved that he HAD vacuumed…holding back spouting off obscenities at the top of my lungs and literally pulling out my hair, I cleaned out the vacuum and attempted to unclog it, but not without obvious disdain and talking to myself about my poor judgement and choices.

Which of course pissed Dave off and he picked something up and threw it across thus breaking his bong spewing bong water all over the bed. “See what YOU MADE ME do!”

I refrain from pointing out to him that had he simply acted like a grown up who was well aware of my typical reactions to clutter, he shouldn’t have told me that he had cleaned, and I wouldn’t have come home expecting to appreciate to see a juvenile attempt at cleaning, and have been shocked to see that my 5 year old grandson would’ve had enough sense to see that it was full and needed to be emptied before continuing.

However, my 5 year old grandson, might have done the same thing and used the excuse that “it was clogged” and I would’ve been annoyed with that – but to have a 40something year old, who whined that he couldn’t wait for me to come home do this……

So all day long I’ve been talking to people and listening to my words about how life is all about learning to PRACTICE what we preach. Instead of pointing out the flaws of others, to look inward and figure out what it is that you need to do to deal with the situation instead of reacting to it.

PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH, is all I can think about today. Think, what is it you have to do that will be an action to make me feel good about the situation instead of bad.

Don’t react, don’t react…

And then Yehuda Berg sends me my daily Kabbalah:

Practicing what we preach is a hard thing indeed. But when we manage to match our words with our thoughts with our actions, we feel fulfilled indeed.

Today, live your beliefs as best you can. Walk your talk. This means making sure what you think, say and do are all talking to one another.

So here I go, taking a deep breath. I simply bartered a bit to have my room spruced up and the carpets steam cleaned, and now everything feels better. Once again I can dream about the future instead of wallowing in the moment and taking it on into the next.

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Hedwig, dear Hedwig.

As I write this I’m listening to some of the music from “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”. A play that I wanted to see on Broadway, or perhaps it was off Broadway. I had seen something on the internet, that captured my interest. Back when the internet was beginning to bloom.

One day I went into NYC, I it must’ve been back in, it may have been 1998. I think I had gone into the city for some kind of Bondage event. It was a weekend, during the day and wherever I was, was pretty dead.

I found my way into a convention area, which was not the one I was looking for, but…I was there, might as well take a look around. Disappointed that I’d screwed up my directions and was in the wrong place, I looked up to see Hedwig!

Of course, Hedwig’s a character, right? I don’t know who’s playing the character, I knew a little bit about the character – and I recognized the hair and all the glitter and I let “her” know that i was so glad that I had ran into “her”.

“She” was in character (don’t ask me how I know, because I have never seen the play, or the movie), talking in an accent, with bored appreciation, she offered me a poster and signed it “Hedwig”.

It wasn’t until today, that I learned who the character I was talking to was in real life, John Cameron Mitchell. So I had my own personal off Broadway moment, off stage, where I played myself, meeting Hedwig.

OMG – So, I wanted to see if I could find more info on the play – I thought all I’d find was stuff about the movie, but when I went to YouTube – I found this great piece about how the play started.

I am so upset that I have no idea what happened to my autographed poster signed by John…sigh…

I’ll have to remember to add some youtube song vids from the movie, as it’s much more fun to watch them than to just listen to them.

Since I lived in Guam for a few years back in the 80s, when I ran across this bit of the movie – I had to include it on this page. Unless things have changed, I don’t think Guam requires a passport.

Hey Boys, Take a Walk On The Wild Side…

I’M GOING TO GUAM

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http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1a/Guam_beach.jpg/75px-Guam_beach.jpg

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Photo Español: Juan Carreño de Miranda‎, Eugenia Martínez Vallejo, “La monstrua desnuda” como Baco. Óleo sobre lienzo (168×105 cm.) Madrid, Museo del Prado.
English: Juan Carreño de Miranda‎’s “La monstrua desnuda” (The Nude Monster) painting.

Over the years my face has changed, in a way that disappoints me. I’ve never had admirers for my looks and I was teased for my “zits” as a teen. I thought it would be wonderful to be a cheerleader or someone popular, but I wouldn’t trade the past 30 years of my life to win a popularity contest in high school and allow 4 years of high school to be my glory days.

In these 30 years, I haven’t made it by, solely, on my looks. I’ve been morbidly obese, and I’ve been athletically toned. I’ve had lots of friends and then I’ve had no friends. I’ve conquered many battles, some intentionally. I’ve started lots of fights and though the outcome may not have been what I was striving for, I’ve learned that I’ve never lost.

I dont believe that I ever made it by my looks, as in being beautiful, but I no longer recognize the face in the mirror, she’s a stranger to me. Which I suppose happens when a person has shyed away from them for the past 20+ years. Seems a shame to have avoided being vain only to decide at my half century point that I am.

I suppose I could have done a lot of prevention to create myself to be more asthetically pleasing to those around me, but I’ve chosen to concentrate on other aspects of my life that that attributed to the neglect of my physical being, and while by God’s Loving Grace, I’m healthier than I might’ve been had I not rescued myself from total deterioration by 50.

All I have is now and the future, and as I look into the horizon, I see that my finances are maturing beautifully.

And here is where I begin to really deal with the hard questions.

Do I spend $20k +/- and pretty myself up? Do I take the $200k and by the car of my dreams? etc.

While I currently do not have much, I do have cable and internet. Which provide me not only entertainment, but the information that I needed to begin my empire. These are the luxuries that I can afford for myself, and I share with my housemates, at an additional expense to myself. While many people take these things for granted a

I was watching Oprah the other day, after she had “cleaned” her closet and donated 150 items to be auctioned for charity. It was difficult for her to let go of these “things”, that she can easily replace with something similar or better. Oprah is a very generous philanthropist, so why is it hard for her to give away the clothes out of her closet?

Is a Fendi bag a better investment than food, shelter, medical supplies, etc. for those who are in dire need of it?

Are the luxurious desires of my own more meaningful to fulfil than a cup of fresh clean water to someone who’s lips are chapped from dehydration?

Is cosmetic surgery God’s way of allowing us to enjoy the benefits of beauty, or is our humanity being tested?

When we have means to live above those who have less, is it because we deserve more than those who have nothing?

Why do so many who have just enough for themselves, share what little that they have with a stranger who may have done nothing more than misplaced his wallet?

Why is it so often when someone didn’t do something for us, we are quick to react in kind. Reciprocity: All of the major religions of the world contain an Ethic of Reciprocity: a command to do onto others as you would have them do onto you; and yet it is practiced with prejudice.

And then there’s me. I see how often I stand in judgement of myself, ridicule myself, bombard myself with less than flattering comments. The worst bully I’ve ever had was me. So, if anyone’s ever thought that I was mean to them – they have no idea the brutality that I’ve inflicted upon myself.

With that said, I’m thinking that I should do something really nice for myself, and do whatever I can to make me happy. That I haven’t killed myself, implies that I’ve at least showed some mercy.

What do you think? Do you do this too?

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